Commission for the humble and kind
Yesterday was my son's birthday. He may not be with me right now but I still think of him. And it hurts that I haven't got the chance to celebrate or give him a birthday present for his birthday. Being independent has it's cons and pros. The good thing about being independent is you're free to decide however you like but it's bad side is when you are in a pit, no ones gonna help you financially and emotionally. I think that's the price you have to live of wanting to be free when you're really not because there is what we call responsibility and harsh reality of life holding your lifestyle.
I haven't talked to my parents since the past 4 or 5 years. We are not really that close. But while I'm drawing this, I, somehow felt jealous. Because I remember, when I'm attending conventions, I got to see this family who went to love their children for who they are and accept what they want in life. They even interact on the hobbies of their children so that they could be closer to them. They even support their children when they decide to pursue it as part of their career. What I seek for a family - love and support (moral or financial or whatever moral they can give to you) and can accept for who and what I choose to be. I seek for those kind of family that I know I will never had, I can only day dream it. My parents were so strict. They are hard to understand and when they punishment us, it's really unjustified. There everyday routine of nagging at us was the reason why we are also like that right now. As wise men said, what you show to your kids could be ending up doing the same thing for their kids. They don't really support the life I choose or the skills we (me and my twin) was born with - good in drawing. They see it as a hobby and not some kind of professional carrier. Just like most stereotype strict parents out there, they don't allow you to choose the life you wanted. they want THEM to choose the life for you. It's like I don't have a life at all.
While I'm making this drawing, I remember my son suddenly. I always said to myself that i'm going to treat him as a best friend. That I'll give him the life he deserves. That I will be there for him, always. But when things change between his dad and I, everything crumbles. I know I have to be true to myself because if I choose to stay at him and to his family's house forever - where he just play all day and night in front of the computer (P.S He is now working as a call center agent. Thank God! He finally woke up.) while I struggle to draw for a living and struggling to fit in their house, but I failed to do so, where he and everybody in the house relies to his mom's money from abroad- I'm going to get crazy and the fact thinking that I might pour my hatred towards his family in to my son, makes me scared.
So for you guys and girls, I hope you're parents loved and will love every little bits of you, because if they do, I salute them! I utmost respect them. This friend of mine,
and the single dad and a very good friend of mine,
, I really respect on how they raise their children with pure love.
Love your parents my friends. Because even all the distant relationship I have with them and how I silently curse them before when they hurt us physically, I still love them deep down in my heart. Because, I knew that even I change my appearance, my first and last name, my point of view in life... you can't change the fact that they are the one who suffer and endure for 9 months and deliver you safe, let you see the world we are living right now. That when they gone, you'll realize that they are the only mother and father you'll ever had. That whatever happens, they are always be your family!
Cheers to all!!!!